"Therefore do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward."
Hebrews 10:35
If we were to define self-confidence in a few words, we can refer to it as the ability to trust oneself and one's capabilities of reaching a goal. It means feeling good about who you are despite external circumstances.
While some people seem to have it naturally, many can only dream of becoming confident one day.
I was one of those that suffered from a lack of confidence at one time. As an immigrant in a country that offered me many opportunities but in which I was alone, without a support system, confidence was inevitably scarce. However, confidence can be developed by understanding that the Holy Spirit's power within you is greater than any force that tries to oppose you or demean you. Confidence is developed by believing in who God says you are. And you are a child of God.
However, confidence is tricky. A lack of it affects our emotional and mental well-being – it might transform us into pessimists. We'll have trouble dealing with failure. We'll experience social anxiety and automatically be more stressed. On the other hand, there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and many of us confuse the two.
Arrogance is false confidence, and it's usually destructive.
Proverbs 16:18 says: "Arrogance goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
There's nothing wrong with trusting your capabilities; it's one of the ingredients for success. The problem is creating the impression of being confident without God – this will only lead to negative results.
Let me give you ten things that will help you not to lose your confidence:
1. Get Things Done
Accomplishments build up your confidence. If you achieve small and big goals, you're going to feel much better about yourself. Pray and consult with God about the goals you are trying to reach. That will most definitely boost your confidence.
2. Monitor Your Progress
The best way to reach your goals, big or small, is to break them into smaller goals and monitor your progress. Write down whatever your goal may be. It will help you stay on course, and you will build confidence as you see the progress you're making in real-time. Separate them into different categories: Personal, spiritual, professional, family. The best way to know if you're making progress is to monitor it.
3. Do The Right Thing
Most confident people live by a value system and make their decisions based on that value system. For us Christians, that value system is built upon Biblical principles. The best version of yourself is when you portrait the character of Jesus in your life. Even when it's tough, and it means a short-term sacrifice on your part, you're going to like yourself more and be prouder of who you are in the long run.
Remember, your actions and your decisions define your character.
4. Exercise
Besides benefiting your health in general, exercise helps memory retention, improves focus, helps manage stress, and prevents depression. It's harder to be anxious when there is no excess energy to draw upon, and outside of being uncomfortable at times, exercise improves every aspect of your life. So stay active, and create time to take care of yourself.
5. Be Fearless
Failing isn't your enemy; it's the fear of failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments, you have to look inside yourself and gather every ounce of faith, courage and just keep going.
The Lord told Joshua, "Do not be afraid, be courageous, do according to all the law of God DO NOT TURN from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have GOOD SUCCESS wherever you go." Joshua 1:8.
Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear of failure. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then cast your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.
6. Stand-up For Yourself
When your goal, project, etc., is in a nascent stage, and someone says that your goal is stupid or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think to yourself, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this, that this a stupid idea?" And you feel compelled to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong, that you have it in you, that God is on your side. So go ahead and tell them you believe in your God-given goal, you believe in yourself, and because you do, you're going to accomplish it.
7. Follow Through
People respect people when they say they're going to do something, and they do it. More importantly, you will respect yourself if you say you're going to do something and you do it. Self-belief will come easier because you know you are not afraid of the work. In 1998 I told the church that we would purchase a dilapidated old theater and transform it into a beautiful House of Worship. Some were doubtful of the vision, but WE did it. That built our confidence to the point that we now believe we can accomplish anything we set our mind to do. ACTION gives your words meaning and helps you pave a path to achieving your goals, strengthening your relationships, and feeling "Holy Ghost proud" of who you are.
8. Think Long-term
Big goals require big sacrifices; you have to dig deep and pursue discipline diligently. Initially, it is tedious and frustrating and makes life significantly more challenging, but it will pay off, and the pride you feel will be worth it. You have to decide if your short-term comfort is more important than your long-term goals, but know that long-term goals will bring you far more happiness in the long run than your short-term convenience.
9. Ignore the naysayers
Multiple people will tell you you can not accomplish your goal. That could stem from people you pastor or lead or negative feedback from friends and family members; people will try to tell you your goal is too big, or that you're not ready, or that you can't do it, that it's never been done before, etc. You absolutely cannot listen to them. You must be resolute. The Lord told Joshua: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
When the odds seem to be against you, remember that most people are wrong about most things, but God is not. He is on your side.
People change the world every day, despite everyone around them telling them "it can't be done." If you think you can do it, you can do it. Don't listen to them; believe in yourself and keep going.
10. Do More Of What Makes You Happy
What do you love to do in your spare time?
Is it to go outside, bike, hike, kayak, and enjoy the outdoors? Or go out and witness to somebody about the love of God? Whatever you love to do, create space for it; pray, evangelize, engage in outdoor recreation, family time, church time... because life is short- you need time to enrich your life and recharge to be your best self for the glory of God.
Have a blessed week,
Pastor (Rev. Elias Limones)
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